How Bittersweet
by enchantedink13
Summary: Six years after breaking up, Blaine appears, broken and changed, at Kurt's door. While Blaine tries to piece his life back together and Kurt attempts to come to terms with how different they both have grown, the two of them struggle to find if the love and friendship they had once shared still exists.
1. Uninvited

**Uninvited**

Kurt pushed his stacks of papers and sketches to the edge of the desk and rested his chin on his hands, staring contentedly out of the seventeenth-floor window of his New York City apartment at the neon lights, billboards, and rain slick street below. Finally, after years of singing and struggling and searching, his world had come together all at once and formed this - this life as a fashion designer with an overly extravagant apartment and with a brand that someday, he was sure, everybody would know. The job offers and then the signed contracts had come so suddenly and so fast on the heels of failure at a Boradway career that Kurt had hardly had time to blink and look at how his carefully constructed plans had careened off into this unexpected success at something he'd never really considered.

His life was full. Kurt had become an independent man with dreams and hopes and futures and a career that he loved. In what seemed like an instant, he had everything he'd ever wanted.

Of course, there were still the echoes of forsaken Broadway dreams, but, strangely enough, Kurt no longer needed that. It would have been nice, of course, to sing and act on a stage in front of hundreds as Rachel and Blaine - Kurt's mind quickly skirted around the name - had done, but that craving for recognition and expression had answered another to another muse, and now Kurt swelled with pride every time the artists who'd been able to make it the way he hadn't paraded down the red carpet in clothes he'd designed.

There was abruptly a brisk knock on the door, jostling Kurt from his musings, and he got up, a ghost of a smile still playing across his lips as he made his way to the door. The door swung open and, just as quickly as it had formed, Kurt's carefully constructed universe shattered into fragments around his feet as he saw long-lashed hazel eyes and frowsy curls of hair, and a voice that he would have known for forever asked hollowly, "Can I come in?"

Kurt stepped away, dumbfounded, from the doorway and let Blaine enter. Blaine walked into the apartment without waiting for invitation, and sank into the leather couch, letting himself fall gracelessly facedown onto the fine cushions and remaining motionless.

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked primly, feeling like a stranger in his own home as he stared at the man in his living room.

Blaine turned over and stared up at the ceiling, his face carved of granite and his eyes dead and expressionless. His mouth quirked in a strange way at the question, and Kurt was sure that Blaine was about to blurt out something angrily in frustration as he'd have done in high school, but instead he gave a short, hard laugh that made Kurt feel foolish and that definitely did not belong coming from Blaine's throat and through those full lips.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know," Blaine said, sobering suddenly. "It's not really funny. Do I look alright to you?"

"No."

"Then why'd you ask?"

Blaine's cold manner sparked something in Kurt, and he snapped irritably, "Because you show up where I live six years after we broke up and come in like you have a claim here!"

Blaine's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly and he nodded. "Right. This was a mistake. I'll -"

His motion to get up was arrested by Kurt's quick step forward and the hand laid on his upper arm, holding him in place without any force. Blaine flinched and drew in a sharp breath, as if the touch had burned him. Kurt held still, as if with a wild animal, until he felt Blaine unfreeze underneath his hand, and told him quietly, "Stay." The word was mild and spoken barely above a whisper, but it was enough.

Kurt moved away and disappeared into the bedroom, reemerging a few moments later with a thick knit blanket and a pillow. He placed the pillow on one end of the couch and Blaine lay down, stiffly at first and then a bit more comfortably as soon as Kurt laid the blanket over him.

"What happened to you?"

"What do you think happened?" Blaine answered flatly, and Kurt realized with some irritation that he'd never answered questions with questions when they had known each other. Blaine seemed to note the annoyance on Kurt's face and sighed. "Life happened."

"That's cliché," Kurt said, and was surprised to find that his tone was accusatory. "Give me a real answer."

"If I knew how I got so messed up I'd have done something about it before now."

"We'll talk in the morning?" Kurt said, the sentence a question even though it had been meant as a stern demand.

Blaine nodded his consent and Kurt had almost turned away when he halted and said over his shoulder without quite looking at Blaine, "You _will_ still be here in the morning, right?"

The unyielding laugh was back, and then Blaine asked caustically, "Do you really think I'd be here in the first place if I had somewhere else to go?

"Okay," Kurt answered slowly, nodding as Blaine lowered his head onto the pillow again and closed his eyes, effectively ending the conversation.

As Kurt disappeared into his own bedroom and pulled on his pajamas, he cocked his head to listen to Blaine's quiet breathing and wondered what insensible chain of events had culminated in bringing him back to this, with a wrecked man that he'd tried so hard to forget asleep in the room next door.

* * *

**A/N: **My first _Glee_ fic that isn't going to be a one-shot. I know there isn't much dialogue or events in this chapter, but this is more like a prologue to the rest of the story. There will be lots of confrontations, flashbacks, and drama to come. Review, please! :)


	2. Awake

**Awake**

When Kurt opened his eyes, he knew right away that something was different, off. He held his breath and tensed, his mind trying to sort through the fog of sleep, until he rolled over in the darkness and heard the sound of soft breathing in the next room and remembered. Blaine, the doorbell ringing, his stony demeanor, the unanswered questions.

Kurt got out of bed, padded softly across the hardwood floor to the kitchen, and poured a glass of water, gulping it down and then standing in the doorway and gazing in the dim, blue, daybreak-washed light to the couch in the living room. He frowned as he observed that Blaine was lying flat on his back, his face too stiff to be asleep. Even through the darkness Kurt could see that every muscle was taught, and the Blaine he knew slept curled up on his side with his mouth parted and relaxed, not drawn into the firm line it was now.

Before Kurt could really consider it, his voice was breaking the silence, asking, "Why are you awake?" Blaine stiffened almost imperceptibly but said nothing, and Kurt took a few steps forward into the living room. "Blaine."

He sounded sterner this time, and it must have worked, because Blaine blinked once and asked, "What?" his voice clear and alert and confirming that he hadn't been sleeping any time recently.

"You're supposed to be asleep."

"So are you." There was a long, uncomfortable pause, and then Blaine sighed and answered, "My head is too full. It's like my brain doesn't have an 'off' switch."

"Want some warm milk?" Kurt found himself offering, not really expecting Blaine to accept, but trying to show that he appreciated Blaine's evident effort to be civil. "It always helps when I'm thinking too much to sleep."

"I remember."

An inexplicable wave of relief washed over Kurt as he realized that they weren't pretending that their relationship had never happened. "You do?" Kurt smiled to himself quietly, remembering their many late nights spent curled against each other with warm mugs of thick, hot milk sweetened with honey and accents of spices clutched in their hands.

"Yeah," Blaine answered, and even though his face was too obscured by the shadow of the couch's back to show it, his voice was smiling. "I normally write music when I can't sleep, but I don't have my guitar with me." Like a light being turned off, Blaine's voice went flat again at the end of his sentencing as the words broke the spell of their remembrance and grounded them both back in the present.

"You can use my piano instead; it might be a little off tune but it's good enough," Kurt offered, speaking so soon that he hardly knew what he was doing, but ready to proffer any of his belongs to Blaine if it meant delaying the return of the cold, detached side of him.

"You don't play piano." The sure, presumptuous words were out of Blaine's mouth so quickly that it was clear they'd been thoughtless, natural, and Kurt fidgeted uncomfortably as the six years separating the last time they'd really spoken grew more conspicuous than ever.

"I got it on a whim, I haven't spent enough time practicing to be able to play very well."

Blaine snorted. "I bet you just got it for décor."

"It is pretty handsome," Kurt admitted. "It deserves to be played be someone who can do it justice, want to give it a try?"

Blaine sat up, pushing the blanket off of himself and stretching out the tight muscles in his neck. "Thanks, but I'm actually in the mood for the warm milk, if that's okay?" Blaine's tone turned it into a question, and Kurt beamed, glad that the darkness in the room concealed how pleased he was.

"Sure." He turned and was heading back into the kitchen when he was surprised to see that Blaine was following him, pulling mugs out of the cupboard as if he was entirely at home. "You don't have to, I got it," Kurt assured him, a part of himself wondering why he felt such a need to treat this unexpected intrusion into his life like a real guest.

"It's fine," Blaine assured him, not quite meeting his eyes, almost as if he was shy. "It's not exactly like I'm busy."

Fifteen minutes later, the two sat on Kurt's couch with their mugs resting on the coffee table and the television quietly playing an old rerun of a Latin soap opera, the overly-dramatic voices of the actors rising and falling in swooping Spanish crescendos.

"So, you compose now?" Kurt asked, partly struggling to make conversation before the space between them could become chilled again, but his curiosity also genuinely piqued when Blaine had said he'd begun writing music.

"Not professionally, it's just a hobby. I don't play them when I perform."

"Why haven't I ever seen you playing anywhere?"

"I don't play in the fancy places you'd go to, Kurt," Blaine smirked. "These are clubs."

"You think I can't handle a club?"

"I know for a fact that you can't. Remember Scandals?"

Again Kurt was shocked by Blaine's lack of aversion to their past, but he recovered himself before his surprise could become noticeable and he chuckled, "As I recall, _you_ were the one who got drunk."

"I'm much more capable of handling myself at a bar now," Blaine insisted, grinning.

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Come and see me perform sometime, you can see for yourself."

"I'm going to take you up on that," Kurt warned, suppressing a yawn and tipping his head against Blaine shoulder. Just as he felt Blaine relaxing into him as well, Kurt realized that, to anybody looking on, they would look appear like a couple, leaning into each other underneath a blanket in front of a television show that they weren't bothering to watch. Kurt bristled slightly at this thought and pulled away, and Blaine sat up as well and sighed almost imperceptibly, as if he'd known all along that the contentment which had formed between them was too fragile, too good, to last any length of time.

"Why are you here, Blaine?" Kurt sighed, figuring that, since the moment of normalcy had passed, there was nothing to lose in asking.

"We can talk about it later."

"We said we'd talk in the morning." Kurt nodded towards the blinds, the blue light of dawn beginning to slip between them. "It's morning now."

Blaine followed Kurt's gaze to the window with his eyes and kept them fixed stonily on the strips of light that were visible as he answered tonelessly, "Sebastian and I broke up, and I didn't have anywhere else to go."

* * *

**A/N:** I just couldn't resist a cliffhanger! I know where the story is going from here, so I won't keep you in suspense for too long. My school started this week, though, so please be patient with slow updates now that I'll be busier. I'll do my best with being timely.

You were all so wonderful with reviews for the last chapter! They really do motivate me to keep writing and I love the feedback, so thank you!


	3. Wasteland

**Wasteland**

Blaine looked stoically over at Kurt in the thunderous silence that was roaring in his ears. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Give me a minute," Kurt said carefully, closing his eyes as if not being able to see Blaine would be enough to make him disappear.

"I-" Blaine tried again.

"One minute," Kurt repeated, holding up a finger and squeezing his eyes shut just a bit tighter, the barely-in-control tone of his voice a warning that made Blaine hold his tongue, unsure what he'd have said even if Kurt had let him continue. Just when Blaine was beginning to become concerned about Kurt's stillness, Kurt finally moved his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb and inhale deeply.

"You and Sebastian were together," Kurt clarified.

Blaine nodded, then realized that Kurt's eyes were still closed, and cleared his throat uncomfortably, whispering roughly, "Yeah."

"Living together."

"Yeah."

Kurt's eyes opened and fixed Blaine with a cold glare. "So Sebastian kicked you out, and you came here."

"No," Blaine said, voice hard. "I kicked myself out."

Kurt's brow furrowed. "That doesn't make any sense."

"What does it matter?" Blaine sighed, struggling to be patient. "We used to be together and now we're not. What is it to you?"

Kurt's eyes narrowed and flashed dangerously, the fury there no longer restrained. "What _is_ it to me?" he repeated incredulously. "You have problems with your boyfriend, and I become - what? Your backup plan? Your second choice? No, that shouldn't matter at _all_."

"It's been six years, Kurt," he said, his lips forming Kurt's name as if it was physically painful to say. "Do you ever let things go?"

Kurt's eyebrows jerked up and he said icily, "I'm not the one who showed up at my ex's apartment."

Blaine looked away, the corners of his mouth distorting as if he was trying not to grimace.

"Oh, just spit it out," Kurt snapped. "I can tell you want to argue."

"I don't want to argue."

"No, you're just going to be sullen, right?"

"Fine," Blaine spat, standing up and crossing to the window, only his back facing Kurt. "You want to know what I'm thinking? _You _broke up with _me_. You don't get to complain about being a second choice." He whirled around to stare hauntingly at Kurt, his eyes burning with some strange combination of rage and pain. "Not anymore. Not after that."

And then Kurt was on his feet too, snapping venomously, "Well, you sure didn't waste any time moving onto Sebastian, did you? Just waiting for me to get tired of you so that you could move on to the next guy in line?"

Blaine jerked back around to hide the way his expression twisted at that, intending to storm out of the apartment until he remembered that he had nowhere to storm to. "Get over yourself, I'm not going to apologize for a decision you made," he spat, nearly choking on the words.

Kurt mistook the anguish in his voice for anger and snarled with matching fury, "Yeah, I bet it was a relief for you to get to make me the bad guy, huh?"

"Stop," Blaine hissed, his hands reaching up and curving into his hair, tugging at the dark roots. He felt like he was losing his mind, disgusted by how in the space of a fifteen minute conversation he'd lost his so carefully constructed control over himself and allowed himself to unravel into _this_. "Please stop."

And suddenly, that day came rushing back to him in precise, cutting detail, the memory breaking over Blaine with astonishing force.

* * *

_It had been the week after Thanksgiving, and Kurt had spent the holiday in D.C. with Burt. Blaine had spent it at a fancy dinner with his parents and their most important clients, wishing that he was at the Hummel's humble family gathering instead. Burt had been very clear that being in Washington did not mean their Thanksgiving meal would be joined by his fellow coworkers._

_School had resumed, and Blaine grew absorbed with last-minute college applications and preparation for Regionals with the New Directions. College was hard; Blaine knew that, so he was never surprised when days passed without any word from Kurt. Even so, they had made sure not to grow apart, keeping in close touch even through the chaos of Kurt's midterm exams._

_It was inexplicable and unexpected, then, when the phone rang one Tuesday afternoon and Blaine's stomach was sinking before he'd even glanced at the Caller ID. "Hey," he said croakily once he saw that it was Kurt, his voice sounding unused._

_"Blaine. Are you free right now?"_

_Blaine frowned, the direct greeting a shock. "Sure."_

_"Good. We need to talk."_

_Blaine had tried to laugh at the cliché line - the last time he'd heard that from Kurt it was because he'd accidentally thrown an expensive cream-colored sweater of Kurt's into the dryer and shrunk it irreparably. Yet then, Kurt had been brisk and irritated, and now he was just eerily calm._

_Blaine waited, but there was only quiet breathing on the other side of the line. "What is it?" The breathing stopped for a moment and Blaine asked again, "Kurt? Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine. But I think we should break up."_

_And then it had been Blaine's turn to stop breathing, because the words_ fine_ and _breaking up_ were so contrary that they seemed to have no place being together like that._

_"Are you there?"_

_"Mmm," Blaine managed to hum into the phone, thankful that it didn't sound like the moan he felt like making._

_"You didn't do anything wrong, okay?"_

_"Mhmm."_

_"I mean it. We knew the distance was going to be hard, and I want to get to experience college all the way, and you deserve the same thing for your senior year. You can understand that, right?"_

_And because that had been Blaine's one concern, from the moment Kurt and Rachel had first gone to that NYADA mixer over a year ago, he did understand, so entirely and instantly that his throat remembered how to work again and he gasped out, "Yes."_

_"Good. That's good."_

_It wasn't good, nothing was good, nothing could ever be good again, but Blaine couldn't find the words to say anything besides "yeah" and then listen to Kurt primly bidding him goodbye and then the click on the other end of the line. It wasn't until afterwards, with the dial tone blaring into his ear, that Blaine recalled being seated in Miss Pillsbury's office not even a year ago, with Kurt wrapping his arms around him and promising that Blaine would never lose him._

* * *

"Stop _what_?" Kurt asked, his sharp voice slicing through the tide of recollection sweeping back out from Blaine's mind.

Instead of answering, Blaine found himself saying something entirely different. "Do you want me to leave?" Blaine asked, raising his head and turning to look earnestly at Kurt.

Kurt blinked, his expression still furious but his eyes confused for a brief moment. "I thought you said you didn't have anywhere else to go."

"If that's how you feel about me now that you know what happened, then this isn't a place to go to."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "So what are you going to do?"

"I'll find an apartment." Blaine took in Kurt's glance of skepticism and added testily, "I'm not incapable of supporting myself, Kurt."

Kurt held up his hands, palms out, as if to defend himself. "Okay, fine - I just thought, because you crashed here-"

"It's hard to get in contact with a realtor in the middle of the night."

"I said fine!"

"Alright, I just-"

"_Okay!_"

They both stopped short at that, seeming equally surprised by Kurt's outburst, and then, as if the tension building between them had snapped something in Kurt, he burst out in hearty laughter, big unrestrained chuckles bubbling up from his stomach.

"What?" Blaine asked, joining in, the kind of laughter that couldn't help but be contagious.

"I don't even know!" Kurt gasped, the pronouncement redoubling their chuckles as they both bent and clutched at their bellies and each wondered if they were going slightly insane. It was the kind of irrational, uncontrollable laughter that Blaine hadn't experienced in too long to remember, and he gave into it, falling back down onto the couch and slumping against the soft leather.

Kurt dropped next to him on the other end of the couch and they stared at each other as their giggles subsided into quiet, infrequent outbursts. When they'd both finally sobered, Kurt sighed and clapped Blaine on the shoulder. "Whatever, just stay, Blaine."

"Thanks," Blaine nodded, too exhausted to wonder why and vaguely aware that, even if he asked, there was no possible answer Kurt could give that wouldn't break the perfection of the moment.

"I'd say "anytime" if that made any sense at all," Kurt said around a yawn, getting up and moving to the kitchen and beginning to turn on lights.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting up. I'm wide awake anyway, and I like to start my work day early."

"Oh." Blaine looked down at his hands awkwardly for a moment, and then half sat up, glancing around the room as if for an indication of what he was expected to do.

"It's okay, you can go back to sleep," Kurt assured him, and Blaine marveled at how they'd gone from arguing to amicable so quickly. "I know you probably didn't sleep much."

Blaine nodded again, but didn't lay back down, instead following Kurt with his gaze as Kurt pulled a pre-packaged cup of Greek yogurt from the refrigerator and set a pot of water boiling for tea.

"Want some?" Kurt offered, glancing easily over at Blaine.

"Oh - no thanks," Blaine said, looking up sharply as if he'd been started.

"That's right, you like coffee." Kurt's voice was almost a hum. "I can put some on for you? I switched to tea because it's healthier."

"I'm good, you don't have to-"

"I know I don't have to."

"Okay."

"Relax," Kurt smiled, and Blaine tried to grin in return, but couldn't because he knew, knew even as he watched the apartment door close behind Kurt as he left for work, that it wasn't real. Kurt was trying so hard, it was so clear, and so was he, to prolong the good moments and forget about everything else so that they could enjoy them. Yet what stood in between those moments weren't small details or complications, they were a vast wasteland of disconnect.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in updates. College visits and interviews got in the way. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Review, please?


	4. Persuasive

**Persuasive**

When Kurt arrived home early, at 4:30 in the afternoon, he was surprised to find the couch without Blaine on it. Somehow in the course of one night Blaine had seemed to have become a permanent fixture in Kurt's mind, and Kurt had spent the drive home wondering what mood Blaine would be in, only to find that he apparently needn't have worried about it.

Shrugging it off and wondering vaguely if Blaine had used his absence as a chance to leave without having to answer for himself, Kurt set down his things and wandered into the kitchen. He was already in the midst of heating day-old lasagna before he heard the soft chime of piano music coming from his bedroom.

"Blaine?" Sure enough, when Kurt peered into his bedroom, Blaine was there, seated on the leather-padded bench, his eyes closed and his fingers moving softly across the ivory and ebony keys like a feather-light whisper. He was singing very lightly under his breath, a song that Kurt didn't recognize - maybe one that he'd written himself - and Kurt stood in the doorway watching, mesmerized, before it suddenly came over him that this moment was Blaine's, one that he thought he was alone in, and Kurt felt like an intruder on something private and illicit.

Before Kurt could turn away and retreat, the microwave timer in the kitchen blared out, snapping both men from their thoughts and recalling them to the present, and Blaine spun around to catch sight of Kurt lurking in the doorway. "Oh! I didn't know you came home." Blaine's speech faltered on the last word and a slight flush appeared in his neck and cheeks before he gestured to the piano and continued, "I hope you don't mind - you mentioned it needed tuning, and then I just got carried away…" Blaine trailed off and then looked innocently up at Kurt.

"It's fine. I'm sorry I was listening."

Blaine laughed suddenly, and then, seeing Kurt raise an eyebrow, explained, "You're apologizing for listening to your own piano being played in your own house."

"Yeah, I guess I am," Kurt agreed in a nervous chuckled. Then, looking at Blaine, he suddenly realized the physical transformation that accompanied the good mood and the ease with which Blaine smiled and spoke - he was wearing a fresh change of clothes and was shaven, his hair in its usual gelled order. "You got new clothes," Kurt observed aloud.

"I haven't gone to see Sebastian yet," Blaine said knowingly, answering the real question that Kurt had been too polite to ask. "I gave him back my key before I left and I'd rather not go back and have to ask to get into the place I used to live."

"You left all your stuff behind?" Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"Look, I wasn't thinking very clearly when I left, okay?"

Kurt sighed and seemed to be struggling not to roll his eyes. "Do you want a ride there?"

"What?" Blaine asked blankly.

"You're wearing new clothes, and they're not mine or apparently yours, so you must have bought them today, and I'm not letting you buy a whole new wardrobe just because you're too prideful to get your real clothes back from Sebastian."

Blaine looked uncomfortable and oddly hurt for a moment, but then his lips twitched into a smirk and he asked with overblown amazement, "Is _Kurt Hummel_ really advising me to pass over an opportunity to go _shopping_?"

"Funny," Kurt deadpanned. "Now, do you want a ride there or not?"

"Thanks, but I'm good."

"You don't intend to go at all," Kurt said, narrowing his eyes. When Blaine only shrugged, Kurt pointed out, "You do realize that with you living here I'm going to notice if you don't go?"

Blaine frowned. "I don't live here, Kurt," he reminded gently.

Kurt chewed on his lip, apparently stumped, but only for a moment. "We'll talk about it over lasagna."

Blaine held up his hands in incredulity at Kurt's bizarre resolution to the conversation, but Kurt merely laughed and asked, "Do you want my lasagna or not?"

Blaine stood up from the piano bench and gestured towards the kitchen. "Lead the way."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"Fine," Blaine finally said, scraping the last of lasagna sauce from his plate and licking his fork.

"'Fine' what?" Kurt looked up, feigning innocence, his eyes held open wide and ambivalent.

"You win, okay? I'll go. To see Sebastian."

"Good," Kurt smiled, his expression smug. He'd known from experience that all the persuasion needed would be the offer of a ride, planted there to niggle at Blaine all through dinner as Kurt made small talk and waited patiently for Blaine to cave in.

"Don't think I'm unaware of your plotting," Blaine growled playfully, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at Kurt across the small kitchen table.

"I haven't done anything," Kurt protested, smiling knowingly.

"I know all your tricks. You got exactly what you wanted without having to ask."

"It's not my fault you can't resist me," Kurt said coyly, rising and beginning to clear the dishes away. "Come give me a hand with this," he added, waving a dishcloth at Blaine, knowing that he would feel more relaxed to be helping out.

Blaine stood and took the dishcloth from Kurt, proceeding to take the rinsed dishes from Kurt and dry them. "I know what you're doing."

"Mmm?" Kurt hummed. "And what's that?"

"You're keeping me busy so that I don't have time to think better of this."

"Clever you," Kurt said dryly, inwardly relieved that Blaine wasn't perceptive enough to know that really, everything Kurt was doing was in an attempt to preserve the strange, fragile peace between them. Sebastian was easy. You drove there, let Blaine finish his business, and took him back. Blaine had said it himself - "_I don't live here."_ Dealing with Sebastian to fill the time in the present was easier than trying to settle when Blaine would leave, where he'd go then, and why he'd even come in the first place.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this chapter was short and that nothing major happened plot-wise, but the next chapter is longer and full of drama and includes their visit to Sebastian. I've already finished writing it, so I'll post it once I get at least 5 reviews for this chapter. Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Sebastian

**A/N:** You were all amazing with reviews for the last chapter, just like I asked, so here's the next update for you! A special thank-you to _anderpson _and guest reviewer _Becca_ for coming back to review after every chapter, and another thank-you to everyone who's given me feedback, because it really keeps me going. Enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

**Sebastian**

"Take a left, it's that building up ahead," Blaine instructed, pointing Kurt to the apartment complex he and Sebastian had once shared. Night was settling over New York City, the streetlights just coming on, the rain-slick streets washed over with the reflections from glowing neon lights.

Kurt pulled into the lot of the apartment and parked the car, flicking the windshield wipers off and leaning back into his seat. When Blaine didn't get out right away, Kurt looked over at him expectantly, eyebrows arched, and was surprised to see Blaine rubbing the back of his neck in what was clearly an anxious gesture. Kurt remembered that, while this was a game to him, a way to put off asking the hard questions, this was difficult for Blaine - after all, it was his life of only a couple days ago.

"I'm going," Blaine said, clearly having felt Kurt's eyes on him even though Blaine's head was tipped away, looking out the passenger window without really seeing anything.

"It's okay, take your time." This, apparently, was not what Blaine had wanted to hear, because he made a sharp, impatient gesture with his hand and got out of the car. Kurt couldn't resist a smile as he remembered how effectively Blaine could always be spurred by annoyance - to box, to sing, to act - anything.

"You're not coming?" Blaine asked, standing with his door still open, peering in.

"Do you want me to? I didn't think it was my place…"

"Probably not," Blaine agreed, looking faintly disappointed and glancing at the ground.

"Who cares, though, right?" Kurt amended quickly, hating the way Blaine's lips turned down almost imperceptibly and the slight crease that appeared between his thick eyebrows. "I'll come; you're going to need help carrying your stuff out, anyway."

Blaine nodded and started walking briskly towards the apartment entrance before Kurt could quite catch up. Kurt gave him a bit of a lead, somehow knowing that the moment was too personal, too private, to encroach on.

"We're here," Blaine said finally, arriving outside one of the rooms, not quite looking at Kurt, his eyes instead on the "451" printed at the top of Sebastian's door.

Kurt nodded, not sure if Blaine even saw, and took a few steps back, standing where he could see Blaine but could not see or be seen by anyone inside the apartment.

Blaine took a deep breath and rapped twice, softly, on the door. The was a muffled call from within, and a moment later Sebastian opened the door, a suave welcome dying on his lips as he said shortly, "Oh, you're back."

"Yeah."

Kurt was shocked at how rough Blaine's voice sounded when directed at Sebastian, so much more hostile and angry than Kurt had ever heard him. Angrier than when he'd shown up unannounced the other night, when he'd performed "It's Not Right" so long ago, even when he'd stormed off, drunk and furious, in the parking lot of Scandals after Kurt had refused to be seduced.

"Are you here to beg for me back?" Sebastian asked, and Kurt didn't have to be in Sebastian's line of sight to know the sneer that would accompany the scathing question. Blaine bit his lip, appearing hurt, and Kurt realized that Blaine probably wasn't as familiar with this snide, biting version of Sebastian as he was.

"No, I'm back for my things." Kurt saw a pale, long-fingered hand appear on the edge of the door frame, blocking it, and Blaine sighed. "You're not going to let me in?" he asked.

Kurt had to bite his own lip to keep his seething resentment toward Sebastian silent as he imagined Sebastian's pale, pointed face gazing complacently out at Blaine as he blocked the doorway with his arms.

"You gave me your key. You didn't want anything to do with me."

"I still don't," Blaine said, his voice seeming to shake with the effort it took to keep it within a relatively calm range. "I want to get my stuff so I can _leave you behind_ and forget we ever happened."

"I don't owe you anything." And now Sebastian's voice matched Blaine's in resentment, though Sebastian's was quieter and better repressed and far more deadly.

Insecurity flickered through Blaine's body at this, rippling through his entire stature and taking a toll on it. Kurt stopped biting his tongue and snapped, "Oh, just let him in, Sebastian."

Sebastian's head peered around the doorway and his smirk widened just barely when he caught sight of Kurt. "So you brought your little boyfriend along," Sebastian said slowly, turning to face Blaine again, letting the words linger, vindictive and smug, on his lips. "And you accused _me _of cheating." Sebastian allowed the twist of his lips to grow just the slightest bit further, the light in his eyes growing triumphant. "Who would have guessed."

Kurt's brow furrowed as he remembered the lack of trust that had been the source of almost every argument he and Blaine had ever had. Evidently it was not a problem that had ended along with their relationship.

"Come on, Kurt, don't be shy," Sebastian was continuing, gesturing Kurt closer. "You've never been one to hold anything back."

"One thing we have in common, I guess," Kurt said coolly, crossing his arms and moving to stand next to Blaine.

"I'd like to think there's not much we have in common," Sebastian shot back, his chin lifting just a bit in self-righteousness.

"Would you look at that. There's something we agree on, too."

"Blaine couldn't come on his own? Needed to bring his keeper with him?" Sebastian asked, Blaine's actual presence there seeming to have been forgotten by both men as he stood off to the side and watched the exchange with helpless, defeated eyes.

"I'm not his keeper. I'm going to help him bring his stuff out as soon as you get out of the doorway."

"Right," Sebastian said wickedly, his voice dropping to a whisper. "You're not his handler. You're his porter. And I always thought you couldn't sink lower than waiting tables at the Lima Bean."

Kurt gave a brief, humorless laugh and then craned his neck to gaze past Sebastian's shoulder into the apartment. It was sleek and pale and white, no hint of the warm colors and homey trinkets that Blaine had liked to spread around his room in Westerville. Kurt would never have guessed that, only a few days ago, the apartment had been Blaine's home as well.

"Look who's not shy anymore," Sebastian observed. "Blaine might have a reason to be here, but you don't." As he spoke, Sebastian moved one of his arms aside from where it had been braced against the doorframe, creating the space for one person to file through. He jerked his head at Blaine and Kurt watched him step through into the apartment.

"Is Blaine moving in with you now?" Sebastian asked, placing his hand back up against the doorway. "I guess it's lucky for him that the dating pool in New York is basically inexhaustible."

Kurt was inexplicably annoyed by this remark, and then even more so put out by it when he realized that he'd made identical accusations to Blaine's face just the previous night. "Blaine's not incapable of supporting himself, you know," he said snarkily, as if he wasn't just echoing the words Blaine had said to him.

"And yet you didn't answer my question," Sebastian observed with a small, satisfied smile.

"It's not any of your business, but no, Blaine's not moving in with me." Kurt said, recalling Blaine reminding him before dinner that he didn't live there.

"Right. So you just mysteriously showed up with him."

"We're friends," Kurt said indignantly. "I can show up with him wherever I want."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes and said coldly, "Friends don't dump each other and then ignore them for the next six years."

"I didn't-" Kurt began to protest automatically, but then he stopped short, in amazement that Sebastian had produced this oddly human, shocking truth, struck by the fact that that was indeed _exactly_ what he'd done to Blaine.

"Did Blaine tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. You weren't the one left around to watch him pick up the pieces."

_There were pieces? _Kurt was still floundering to find a suitable response when Blaine emerged from the apartment with a box of clothes. "Can you take these?" he asked, holding the box out to Kurt but not quite looking at him.

"Sure." Kurt's voice was gentler with no effort to soften it.

When Kurt returned from the trip to the car, Sebastian was still waiting by the door and Blaine had already disappeared back into the bedroom of the apartment. "You're no better than me," Kurt hissed at Sebastian.

"What?" Sebastian seemed genuinely taken aback.

"You dumped him, too. So you can drop the holier-than-thou act, because you don't fool anybody."

"Blaine ended it with us. He didn't tell you that?

"Yeah, he did, but you clearly must have done something wrong."

"Oh, is that right? So what did Blaine do wrong when _you_ dumped him?"

Kurt opened and shut his mouth, astounded. Sebastian's ever-present smirk widened, and before Kurt could think of something to say that would wipe the smug expression off Sebastian's face, Blaine showed up, a duffle bag slung over his shoulder and a box under each arm. "There's another box in my - I mean, in the room. Can you get it?"

Kurt started to step over the threshold to retrieve the box, but Sebastian beat him to, disappearing quickly into the bedroom and carrying the box out to Kurt's car, Kurt trailing behind, feeling decidedly out of place.

Blaine stood outside the passenger door, even though it was unlocked, shuffling his feet uncertainly and looking uncomfortably at Sebastian. Kurt glanced between the two and slid into the driver's seat to wait, watching discreetly in the rearview mirror as Blaine stepped over to Sebastian.

"Goodbye," Kurt heard him say quietly, the anger from before having melted away.

Sebastian smiled by way of response, a softer smile than the mocking, contrived one that Kurt had always received. Kurt watched as Sebastian reached his arms out halfway, as if for a hug, stopping when Blaine stepped back.

"Don't make this worse than it has to be," Blaine said, voice low. "I'm done."

"I'm sorry."

A brief, bitter smile flitted across Blaine's features. "Don't lie to me. Don't you think we've done enough of that?"

"But I-"

"I know." Kurt could hardly hear Blaine now, but the faint words drifted in through the car's open windows along with the smell of pavement drying after the rainstorm. "You're sorry for how things turned out."

Sebastian nodded.

"I needed you to be sorry for what you did, not the consequences of it." Blaine turned away toward the car before Sebastian could answer and slipped in next to Kurt without looking at him. Kurt watched carefully as Blaine sighed and buried his face in his hands, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes and rubbing tiredly. "Can we go now?" He sounded like a child.

"Yeah," Kurt answered, swallowing all the questions Sebastian had left him with and shifting the car into drive, for Blaine's sake. "We can do that."

* * *

**A/N: **This was my first time writing Sebastian's character, so I hope it turned out okay. I don't have the next chapter ready this time, so I can't make any promises of when the next update will be coming, but can we try for another 5 or 6 reviews anyway? *greedy writer* Thanks for reading!


	6. Brotherly Love

**Brotherly Love**

Kurt could feel Blaine's eyes on him. They'd been there all night, as Kurt propped his feet up on the coffee table and half-listened to the news while catching up on sketches of a new collection for work. He'd left the television on for Blaine and chosen to work in the living room instead of his office in case Blaine wanted the company, and - he admitted it to himself reluctantly - because he wanted to watch Blaine's behavior. However, the TV might as well have been off for all the entertainment it was providing Blaine. His eyes hadn't moved from Kurt since they'd come in, and he was so on edge that Kurt couldn't help feeling anxious as well.

Finally Kurt sighed, put the last stoke in the sportswear design he'd created, and said without taking his gaze from the page, "What is it, Blaine?"

"Nothing!" Blaine's instant response would have revealed that it was clearly _not _nothing even if that hadn't already been apparent, and Kurt bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Okay."

"You don't believe me."

"Okay," Kurt said, the laughter audible in his voice now.

"It's nothing," Blaine insisted. Kurt flipped through his papers slowly, Blaine's discomfort almost tangible in the room. Sure enough, a moment later he remarked, "You keep saying 'okay.'"

"Is it not?"

"Oh, come on," Blaine said loudly, reaching out to take the sketches from Kurt, his demeanor forceful, but still glancing up at the last moment as if for permission. Kurt inclined his head slightly, and Blaine set the designs on the coffee table and turned to look at Kurt, their eyes meeting honestly for the first time that night. "Stop pretending everything's fine. You've got to have questions."

"I do," Kurt admitted.

"Well? What's the hold up?"

"It's not a big deal for me to let you stay here until you get you stuff together. I don't need answers."

"You wouldn't let a total stranger stay here." Blaine was leaning back against the couch, clearly trying to seem at ease, but his eyes were guarded.

"You're not a stranger, Blaine."

Blaine grimaced. "I kind of am. No," - he continued before Kurt could protest - "think about it. We haven't talked in years. We weren't always strangers, but we were when I showed up the other night. So why? Why'd you let me in?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Tell me. It's not fair to either of us if you don't tell me."

"Because when you're here, everything's like it was!" Kurt blurted out, unable to stop himself. "Everything is just… right. You know what I mean. You've felt it, too."

"But it's not right," Blaine insisted.

"And this is why I didn't want to answer why."

"No - listen to me." Blaine waited until Kurt looked at him and then continued, "None of this can be like it was. We're not in high school, and we can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not. We tried that and it obviously didn't work. I'm not interested in trying it again."

"Do you want to go back to arguing instead?" Kurt asked, sarcasm ringing through his voice.

"At least I understood why we were arguing," Blaine shrugged.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "But you don't understand why we're being civil."

"Honestly? No, I don't."

"I care about you, Blaine," Kurt sighed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes at the fact that this was something Blaine had to hear, that he didn't just know it the way Kurt knew Blaine cared. "Isn't that reason enough?"

"You broke up with me."

This time Kurt couldn't help the slight widening of his eyes in disbelief that, after all of it, Blaine still went back to _that_. "That doesn't mean I-" Kurt faltered, struggling to find the right words. "Just because I broke up with you," Kurt finally explained slowly, "doesn't mean you don't still matter to me."

"Really." It wasn't a question, and Kurt shrugged, uncomfortable now, unable to tell whether Blaine was being passive-aggressive, or genuinely calm.

"Why else would you be here?"

"I don't know, Blaine said, rubbing his right hand over the knuckles of his left hand thoughtfully. "Maybe because high school was easy and effortless, and you want it back? We're acting the way we used to."

"How's that?"

"Ignoring the problems because we don't feel like dealing with the hard stuff until it's too late and right in our face." Blaine cocked his head and gave a withering glare at the innocently confused expression on Kurt's face. "Don't act like you don't know what I mean. We never even talked about what would happen once you left for college. It's no wonder we couldn't stay together."

"We talked," Kurt protested, frowning.

"About audition music. And Madam Tibideaux. And Broadway. We didn't talk about what _we'd _do. We didn't really try to make it work."

"I tried!" Kurt exclaimed, indignant now.

Blaine arched an eyebrow. "If we'd been trying, then your phone call wouldn't have come out of the blue," he said, as if the pain of rejection had been just yesterday. "I'd have known there was a problem."

"There wasn't a problem. It just wasn't… what either of us wanted."

Blaine didn't bother pausing to resent being spoken for like that. "People don't just leave working relationships."

"Okay, then why did you leave Sebastian?" Kurt asked, a challenge in his voice.

"He cheated on me," Blaine said, his response without hesitation but his voice hardening. "But you already know that from Sebastian."

"Cheated how?" Kurt asked, careful to keep his tone friendly, conversational, far flung from the interrogation that, under their living circumstances, it might quickly morph into.

"I don't know, Kurt, how many different kinds of cheating are there?" Blaine scoffed, and Kurt couldn't help but smile as he realized the slight absurdity of his own question. "You probably wouldn't call it that, anyway," Blaine added thoughtfully. He looked over at Kurt, who was visibly struggling to contain his curiosity, and let out a short chuckle. "Go ahead, I know you're dying to ask, and this _is_ what I wanted, after all."

"What happened?"

"Sebastian lost interest and moved onto my brother."

"_Cooper?_" Kurt nearly shouted.

Blaine snorted, half in scorn and half in laughter. "My reaction exactly."

"But… he's…" Kurt stammered.

"Straight. I know. Having disinterested objects of his affections has never stopped Sebastian in the past."

"He's your _brother_," Kurt added ineffectually, stressing the last word.

"Yeah, and there's that." Blaine conceded, the humor leaving his face. "Sebastian knows no boundaries." There was a pause, and Blaine's face softened. "One of the things I used to love about him," he murmured. A moment later, Blaine seemed to realize what he'd just admitted, and his head snapped up to stare, wide-eyed and half panicking, at Kurt.

Blaine could have sworn that he heard a sharp intake of breath from Kurt, but if it had been there, Kurt recovered his passivity smoothly. "'Spontaneous and fun,' right?" Kurt asked, smiling sadly as he echoed words Blaine had said to him at Scandals.

"You could call it that."

There was a long pause during which both men averted their eyes, each permitting themselves to become lost in their own minds, and Kurt broke the silence first, sighing and saying quietly, "I'm sorry." Blaine glanced over, a question in his eyes, and Kurt elaborated, "About Sebastian, and Cooper." Kurt bit his lip and averted his eyes and mumbled the next two words so softly that they wouldn't have been intelligible if Blaine hadn't already known what was coming, "And us."

Blaine nodded, looking away so that Kurt wouldn't have to. "So am I."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm so sorry that this update took so long in coming! I've been distracted with writing for the _White Collar _fandom. But thankfully at least _Glee_ makes us all used to ridiculously long hiatuses anyway, and I'm hoping that the new developments in this chapter made up for the wait. You guys were incredibly amazing with reviews for the last chapter, thank you so much! I love hearing everything you have to say.


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